


Reparations

by rockon1973



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sibling Bonding, Sibling Rivalry, World War I
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 20:16:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17856272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rockon1973/pseuds/rockon1973
Summary: Everything is different, yet Arthur is not exactly sure what changed. To find out, he explores his inner thoughts and his relationships with his family members, most notably, his brother Tommy.





	Reparations

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! As you will see with a pensive Arthur contemplating how the Shelby family has gotten to the place they're at when the story takes place. I imagine the story to be set slightly pre-series or early Season 1 but it's really up for interpretation. Although only Arthur has appeared in the story so far, my plan is for it to focus on both Arthur's thoughts and on some lovely H/C that I'm working on planning for the next few chapters. (Tommy will be the main one being hurt and comforted, so if that's not your thing feel free to read no further.) While I do have some ideas, I haven't really planned what exactly will be wrong with Tommy, but I was thinking it might be something more emotional than physical and it may be connected to his opium habit. If you have any suggestions regarding the future plot-line, please let me know in the comments! I want to write an enjoyable story and I could also use a bit of inspiration :)

The life of the Peaky Blinders was not always an adrenaline-fueled nightmare or a drunken haze. Sometimes, in fact, it was rather mundane. On one quiet day, Arthur’s assigned task was to merely stroll the streets with a hat pulled down low over his forehead to conceal his identity while keeping an ear open for any sign of suspicious activity. That is to say, any rumors that the Peaky Blinders might soon be challenged by a rival gang. The relatively leisurely employment allowed Arthur much time for thought. The family he had now barely resembled the family he remembered. This was largely due to something that had changed in Tommy, or so he thought, but maybe he was the one who had changed. Maybe it was all of them or maybe it was the world. All he knew was that in the time since the war had ended, he had not had much time to contemplate, so he had quite a lot of work to do.  
  
Things had been different before and for a long time and Arthur was not completely sure what had changed. He knew how things had changed, of course, and he knew the consequences of everything that had happened, but he felt as though he needed to find the decisive moment that was the beginning of the end before everything went to shit. For a long time, he thought it was the war. He knew that the war had changed them all – he could feel the difference in his very bones, and he could feel it even more clearly in his mind. The war had changed Tommy too. While Tommy acted as if all was well, he had had a hardened look in his eyes since the tunneling incident. Arthur could see a haunted, hardened look in his eyes that Arthur had first noticed not long after the tunneling incident. If it had been there before, Arthur had not been aware enough to notice it. The issue with this way of thinking, however, was that it was all too obvious. To Arthur, it just seemed too fucking easy.  
  
On the other hand, maybe it was a family issue. Maybe all of Arthur Shelby, Sr.'s children had all been destined for bad things from the moment they were born. As much as Arthur hated to admit it, their father was not a good man and maybe that had something to do with it. Bad people often created bad children, he supposed. But how could life be that simple? Ada seemed to have turned out all right despite her communist streak. And as foolish as John could be, he was a good man. As he watched his cigarette butt fizzle out on the wet ground where he had dropped it, Arthur decided that he would have to find the source of the conflict before he could stumble upon in answer. When the answer came, it would have to be natural, if it were contrived it wouldn’t be sincere. It would be a mere way of comforting himself while avoiding the truth. And after all, he had had enough with lies; it was the truth he was after.  
  
The problem, he realized, was something internal but also external. In a way, it was based on some sort of inner hatred. He was not the man he wanted to be, but he wasn’t sure that that man had ever existed in the first place. If he had, he had never known him. Something was wrong. Making a living off of killing and other illegal activity was no way to build a life. It was merely a way to survive – at least that’s how Arthur thought of it – and life, he thought should be something more. But then there was Tommy, and that was the other part of the problem. Tommy had somehow made said illegal activity into the very essence of his person. Not that he seemed to enjoy it, exactly – not that Tommy really seemed to enjoy anything anymore – but it was what defined him and he was very good at it. While Arthur had once thought of Tommy as a friend, a rival, and, most of all, his little brother, he could no longer escape the image Tommy had created for himself. Mr. Thomas Shelby, leader of the Peaky Blinders. And as the eldest brother and former leader of the family, a part of Arthur was envious of, and somewhat offended by, his brother’s success.  
  
And there, Arthur figured, lay the root of the problem. Tommy had everything Arthur didn’t have. Success, authority, self-control. It seemed as if Arthur had been searching for these things all his life, but never knew any other way than the Shelby way and so he had never pursued something different. And here too, was where the war also played a role – disrupting his life, Tommy’s life, John’s life, and so many other lives, forcing them in a direction in which they were not naturally headed. Maybe without the war and without the family business he could have been successful in some other trade, maybe he could’ve even had a family by now. But he would spare himself the sorrow and attempt not to think about such things. This was the only life he knew, so it was all he had to work with. And maybe, just maybe, he could make something meaningful out of it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I would be happy to hear from you if you have any comments suggestions! And as I mentioned, I would really appreciate your thoughts on how the story should continue to unfold.


End file.
